saints and poets

Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love,
the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of humankind.

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.

This is the preface to Bertrand Russell's autobiography which I read during my AP English Lit Honors class in high school. I've always always loved B's work, but her preface-- those words she wrote at the end of her days-- has always resonated strongly within me. There are many things to say about every day and every situation and every face or decision made; but how trivial these things become when in the face of an incredible understanding of the world as a whole, and a passion for experiences of every sort. The gamut of emotions-- to feel anything and everything, because you can. To live.

To live.