the music of the moment

SPOP 3 happened and it got off to a really rocky start, but I had faith things would pull through and they did. It was quite the experience staffing with Omar, Patricia, Patrice, Andy, Vyvy, and Ben (again haha) and I it really brought my first 3 SPOPS full circle. Seeing Ben and Omar in tears reminded me just how far the reaches of this program extend, beyond simply the spoppers themselves but the staffers as well. And hearing Omar speak the words I so longed to hear from someone else, words that I felt he took right out of my mouth, reignited a hope in me I thought I had long lost. This program never ceases to inspire me. We were all really really different in our work ethic, but in the end, the message we intended on giving our spoppers was the same: never give up, never lose hope, the food isn't the best but it's pretty damn good, bring a fan, laugh as much as you can, challenge yourself as often as possible, learn from every mistake, and never doubt your ability to do great things.

On a last minute whim, I went to Norcal this past weekend and I am beyond happy that I went. The weeks prior to it, I hadn't even thought twice about possibly going since, after seeing who was signed up to go, I thought "well fuck, I don't know really know anybody." Well, shit...that turned out to be the best part about the trip. I don't think I have ever been with a more diverse and quirky bunch. Not just that, but the parents we met, the things we saw, and the places we went reminded me of why I love the things and people I love, and why (when I was a little girl) I always wanted to go to San Francisco. The morning after we all arrived at Ben's place, we took the bus to a creperie called "Squat & Gobble." There was a moment on the bus that just made my weekend and I can't forget it or the face that said the words which made me feel so full of worth. We were all spread out towards the rear of the bus, and I was standing next to the rear door beside a shabby looking man who had been glancing at me periodically throughout the ride. Right before we all got off at our stop, he reached over and gently tapped my shoulder and said,

"Excuse me, but um..." I leaned into him and turned my eyes towards the window, wondering what odd or humorous thing was about to happen. He stumbled for words, which finally came out,

"I felt much obliged to let you know that you're very pretty."

My eyes grew wide and my mouth agape as I stood up to face him. He smiled sheepishly and immediately followed it up by raising his hands and saying,

"I just wanted you to know, in case you didn't already-- Please don't arrest me or anything..."

I smiled so widely then, a little flushed and taken aback, and scrambled for the two little words that I uttered with all my heart,

"Thank you."

It may seem cocky to you for me to recount this, but all my life I've had hidden but deep issues regarding my self-image-- it had never been fully developed and I had never fully come to terms with what I have and who I am and all the qualities and traits which I lack. And I know, who am I to take one stranger's words to heart, but who am I to not? It's trivial, but it meant the world to me.

The rest of the trip was an absolute delight. New friends mixed with old ones and I was able to squeeze in some time to see a certain MKP on the chilly ass streets of SF where bikes were eyed and crazy azns gathered. It was short but it really set the tone for the rest of the weekend. There are just some people in the world that will never cease to make my heart smile. Thanks, Pazmeister.

Every single person on that trip made me laugh at some point. There were a few standouts, however, and I can't overlook them but I won't name them for they know who they are. While meeting one's parents, I'm pretty sure there was not a single moment when I was not smiling. My cheeks were so sore after, but I didn't care. I love discovering things about people and being surprised by them, and boy was I ever. These people have done so much in their life thus far that I'm shocked they don't flaunt it. Their humility amazes and inspires me. These souls that I have come to discover, faces which have taken a new shape, friends-- I think are just some of the most amazing and underrated people I have ever met and I wish I could shout to the rest of the world about how beautiful these people are. I can honestly say that they, without a doubt, have made my cold little heart smile. I can't explain how many times my heart felt like it was going to burst with joy. Clearly, that would not have been good as I'd be dead so I'm glad it didn't but man.... do I love living on the edge ;)

I can't convey just how glad I am to have thrown everything to the wind and gone with my gut. I'm also glad I decided to stay an extra day. Given, we didn't really do much that extra day except see the Golden Gate Bridge and visit Paulo's favorite street, that morning was by far one of the best I've had in a while. Simply sitting on mounds of blankets and pillows, eating home made musubi, and laughing til my sides hurt all while playing the most ridiculous game of Taboo was so memorable. It was so easy-going and innocent and void of any expectation. I wish I could take that morning and relive it over and over and over again.

I'm going to sound a bit cliche but I don't care. Norcal was absolutely golden and so are the people with whom I spent it with.

The theme song of the weekend, Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours."

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing,
we're just one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love, loved love, love

How fitting.

Simply blessed.