under my skin

Dammt, why won't you see me? I miss you-- still--and I can't stop. I can't shake myself of this feeling of hollowness. I can't help but feel, wherever I go, whatever I do, that something is missing. Something isn't right...

And every time they bring you up, the more they do, the more I break down my walls, my pride, my self, and confess that darling, I'm a perfect mess without you. I can function, but I'm not functioning right. And I can sleep, but never at night. And I can eat and breathe, but what am I breathing for? And I can walk straight, but I have no path to trek, and no hand to hold were I to go. I'm stuck, darling... stuck in neutral, without you. And I can live all right, but it just won't do. I want to be extraordinary again with you.

Please just look at me. Please just say my name. I fear that you've forgotten who I am, who I was, and how I made you feel, you said. I'm scared that all that you made me into... you've already forgotten. And you don't know what you've done. You don't know what you've caused. What you've taken, by giving nothing.

What do I do with my time, when we planned it to be spent together?

I spent some time in Torrance this past weekend, and she took me around to show me a good time. And I smiled out the surface, but inside I cried, cause I saw all the places you promised you'd take me. And all the streets you said I'd "know soon enough." And the faces of people you had talked about. And the place you call home. Well, it wasn't the same. Torrance was your town, and being there without you just didn't feel right.

I want my summer back. And my heart.